Building Your Network by Joining Groups and Communities
In October, I turned to my husband and asked, “Do we have plans at the end of January?”
Philip says, “No, why?”
“I’m thinking of going on a cruise with a group.”
“A cruise? But you always said you’d never go on a cruise! Where are you going?”
“I’m not sure, I think we leave from Miami?”
“Who are you going with?”
“I’m not sure, some business colleagues from the internet? I know one of the facilitators, Hillary.”
“Well, have fun. I still can’t believe you’re going on a cruise.”
So I’m writing this on a boat.
Some of the Collab Cruisers in Key West
This trip has been amazing, filled with lots of discussion about our businesses, some 🍵 being spilled by industry veterans, and lots of sunshine and free food.
(It turns out that we went to Key West and I’m writing this while docked at the Bimini Beach Club in the Bahamas).
I made progress on my book, outlined some workshops I’ll be teaching this year, and otherwise got to integrate while walking on a track on the 17th floor of a cruise ship with new friends.
But most importantly? I met 10 new people who I’d never met before. Including some that I already have plans to see again at some future conferences I’ll be attending this year.
The Power of Weak Ties
What are weak ties?
Weak ties are casual connections and loose acquaintances. “Your weak ties connect you to networks that are outside of your own circle. They give you information and ideas that you otherwise would not have gotten,” according to the study’s author Mark Granovetter.
The experiment upholds the idea, first posited nearly 50 years ago, that weak ties have a value strong ties do not. The people you know best may have social networks that closely resemble your own and thus may not add much new job-seeking value for you. Your more casual acquaintances, on the other hand, have social networks that overlap less with yours and may provide connections or information you would not otherwise be able to access. - MIT News
When I first started my business, I worked with a number of business owners living in Charlotte, North Carolina who were in local business-building groups.
But, we knew a lot of the same people and at some point, I recognized I needed to burst out of my bubble to continue to grow. I continue participating in those groups to deepen relationships with peers and friends - but knew that I needed to diversify my connections to be connected to new opportunities. But for a while, I didn’t know where to start making new connections.
I was an awkward duck most of my life, struggling to make friends because I never felt I fit in or was shamed for my ambition. I never quite knew what to say and I don’t really feel comfortable with small talk and being social at parties.
But in business? There’s a common link to start from and a shared lens on the world.
So I became a joiner.
I joined coaching programs and cohort-based writing programs.
I joined communities with mentors who I wanted to learn from.
I found new friends by being active on Substack and LinkedIn.
I read books and listened to podcasts from voices outside of my core industry.
I hired coaches, consultants, and other service-based businesses who came from a variety of different silos as I strengthened parts of my business.
Almost every time I make an investment, I’m looking to both get the outcome I’m looking for and work with someone that will expand my business aperture by being located on a different part of my network map.
My network has really exploded in just a few years.
The Twitter/X Creators
The IG-based service providers
The feminist business ecosystem
The LinkedIn consultants and B2B tech companies
The YouTube and writing community
There’s so much overlap - a few of my online friends are on the same joining journey as me and I see us pop up in similar communities over time, which only strengthens the bonds.
On this boat, I met new people who expanded my circle but also who knew others I was in a relationship with, building my network while also reinforcing that I fit here.
I’ve seen other colleagues go deep into an industry network, particularly in the “coaches coaching coaches” space that can kind of be a silo. Yes, it’s helpful to work with coaches who can help you grow your coaching business. But if you’re only interacting with other coaches that serve a similar population… how are you reaching new people and making connections with eventual end customers that might buy from you? How are you expanding your lens on the world and avoiding getting caught in an echo chamber? (I know many people who join coaching programs just to sell within those programs by “getting in the room.” That can work, though I don’t usually recommend that strategy.)
Ways to build your network by participating in watering holes
We’ve been talking a lot about networking and sales over the last month or so.
And one of the best ways to start making connections is to go where people are! Where you already have something in common to make cold outreach more warm.
Here are some suggestions of types of places to join:
Industry Groups: Brainstorm with your profession. I’m an independent consultant, so I joined The Upside for other independent consultants and participate in the Umbrex women’s group. I also consider myself a Fractional COO, so I joined a fractional executives slack channel. And… I fancy myself a creator, so I joined Jay Clouse’s The Lab for Professional Creators. (I might be going through the “who am I when I grow up” period!). Maybe you’re a marketer, or in the tech sphere, or in the education sphere. Join industry groups!
Size- or Stage-Based Groups: Meet others at your stage and/or size of business. I’m not interested in scaling my team at this time, so I’ve joined Rochelle Moulton’s Soloist Women’s Free Slack and Maggie Patterson’s BS-Free Mastermind, geared towards soloist women. All of the participants in my Deeper Foundations program are meeting each other, forging relationships, and in some cases working together as they grow their businesses.
Values-Based Groups: Surround yourself with like-minded colleagues. I consider myself an Expert service-based business and joined The Expert Up Club hosted by Dr. Michelle Mazur, who also co-hosts the Duped podcast with Maggie. Other colleagues of mine are in the Numinous Network and Amelia Hruby’s Lifestyle Business League and the Interweb. You can join my Deeper Business Dialogues and meet others who share that value system.
Skill-Building Groups: Build rapport while building a skill. Writing, speaking, creating video and being a more thoughtful creator has been a passion of mine, so I’ve joined groups like Jay Acunzo and Mel Deziel’s Creator Kitchen, Margo Aaron’s Brainstorm Road, and Ship30for30. These are all focused on building the skill of creating. If you want to learn how to write longer-form, you might participate in David Perell’s Write of Passage, and if you want to do video you might participate in Ali Abdaal’s YouTube Accelerator. Maybe you want to learn how to build your personal brand, so you join Julie Morris’s DIY Influence or join programs to help you build your visibility or do ethical copywriting.
Geographically-Based Groups: Build local relationships. Charlotte has a thriving NAWBO and KNOW Women’s group as well as a large EO group, a local Chamber of Commerce, and other networking groups based locally.
Jessica, that sounds like a lot of groups. How do you keep track of them all?
I ebb and flow in my participation in all of these networks and groups, depending on my learning objective for the season I'm in. I have built systems to map out my network and keep track of interactions.
And yes, joining these groups and programs costs money - but I’ve found it's a much stronger return on investment than continuing to spend time struggling to build a social media following. AND I’m growing my own skillset while building relationships. It’s a win-win for me!
When you join, make it a point to set up 1:1 conversations with community members - who are almost always free for that. It's why they joined too! Don't use this as an opportunity to "sell your wares" - simply be human, make connections, and build rapport. And see what happens.
I’ve made real friendships (that turn into real life meetups!), gained access to visibility opportunities, and built a network of referral partners - where I get to refer as often as I am receiving - quickly.
Just this week, someone asked for a referral to a YouTube editor and someone else asked for who I knew that would help them with the tech side of online presenting. And I had immediate connections, built through this web of weak ties and expanding networks.
So pick a few groups. Join in.
What industries do you want to affiliate with?
What skills do you want to grow?
Who shares your values - and has curated an existing community that also shares your values?
