Stop Using Willpower to achieve your goals
We set out with great intentions and lofty goals.
Make more sales, be more visible, get a handle on our finances, be more productive.
And we might think we just need either the skill or will to make traction and close the gap between where we are today and where we want to be in the future.
Skill: I will know how to do this by learning this skill.
Will: I’m going to do this by taking these actions.
But trying to “skill” or “will” our way into action doesn’t fully acknowledge the gaps that live in our bodies, emotions, and souls.
In Radical Strategy, we address the gaps to our goals across physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions.
4 different gaps to address when setting your priorities
Skill: Do you have the skill to take on the priority? Do you know where to start?
We can close this skill gap by reading a book, taking a class, watching a YouTube video or finding a teacher. Experts can often show us the “how” and help us skill up - teaching us sales processes, how to start a podcast, or the basics of Public Relations.
Capacity: Do you have the capacity to take on this priority? Do we have the space (in your life, calendar, heart, and mind) to take on this priority?
We can close this gap by being honest about where our time, focus, and attention is going. And either shifting our time and energy towards this goal or removing it from our list. We can create conditions for success by doing less of the things that are distracting us (e.g., social media, web surfing) and creating systems and habits that support the goals we want.
Desire: Do you truly desire to take on this priority? Or is this a “should” that is taking up space?
Knowledge and time may not be enough. We have to really desire change, as all disruptions to our current state require real, focused energy to create that momentum. Maybe you don't actually want to hit that 7-figure revenue mark or become partner/VP because that’s not what you truly desire - and that’s ok. In your company, what are the priorities you’ve either been putting off or not actioning on? There might be real desire tradeoffs that you’re unconsciously making.
Safety: Do you have feel safe enough to take on this priority? Do you have any emotional, energetic, or spiritual wounds or threats that make taking this on feel overly charged, putting us into analysis paralysis or fight, flight, or freeze?
Having the skills, time, desire might not be enough if we are carrying our past experiences or even generational wounds in relationship to a goal. For example, when we discuss money, what were we taught? What experiences with money have we had? What stories do we tell? Being visible and moving into a leadership/power role also often come with real, lived experiences that we need to reckon with.
To close this gap, we need to tend to our wounds and threats. Check in with the somatic feelings in the body. Understand your stories and grant yourself permission slips to do things differently. Care for your heart. Take a breath and care for your nervous system. Bring in your supportive resources. Work with a processor to plant new (metaphorical) roots.
Will to change isn’t always the right approach.